RED RIDING HOOD (2011)

The success of the Twilight film has been a bit of mixed blessing. It has seen a revival in teen horror but it has caused a spate of mashing horror films with teenage romance and coming of age plots. It is not necessarily a bad thing but when I want horror film I would far rather it concentrate on horrible things crawling in the corner of your mind rather than teens lustful gazing.

RED RIDING HOOD is a post Twilight take on Little Red Riding Hood. A medieval village of undetermined geography is terrorised by a werewolf.  A young girl in a red cloak falls in love with a woodsman and a religious zealot comes to town to save it from the wolf’s curse.

I cannot decide if I like this film or not (a perfect way to start a review). Every time I think about it there are bits I like and then I think about other parts of the film and weep for the time I will never get back.

The biggest problem with RED RIDING HOOD is it is bloody tedious. Lots of soft focus shots of teens biting their quivering lips at one another and a monster that does very little in the way of being monstrous. The teen romance is there in abundance. Hormones spilling out the frame and with lots of shots of lithe naked young men making the girls in the audience swoon. If your audience are passing out in a horror film because they are swooning rather than being overwhelmed by bottomless terror, you have failed. The film seems to go on and on never get anywhere which is amazing as it is just over 90 minutes long (The length that all horror films should be; what’s that? You think you have a great 2 hour horror film script? That’s wonderful but you’re wrong.)

The film is saved by a wonderfully eclectic cast with GaryOldman, Virginia Madsen and the only Canadian actor with an obviously Canadian accent himself, Michael Hogan.  Gary Oldman is especially good as a religious fanatic with a vendetta against werewolves and a giant metal elephant as part of his retinue.  It is the older cast members who save this film as the younger actors stink up the screen with soap-opera histrionics and a stark inability to convince.

"Heave Bosom, Heave"

However, despite these problems there was something rather nostalgic about this film. It was all shot on a studio village set and only left it to go onto another set which is very rare for modern films.  I liked this because it evoked Hammer Horror at its height like Plague of Zombies or The Reptile. A lone isolated village beset by a horror from within. It is a shame the werewolf is rubbish. A CGI spill over from a SyFy channel Friday night film it looks as threatening as a damp corgi. There are some nice variations on the werewolf mythology with it unable to pass onto hallowed ground but it is mostly a failure.  

The real monster is Gary Oldman’s fanatic. Oldman delivers a camp, grandiose performance which manages to both chew the scenery and be terrifying simultaneously.  Followed by an odd assembly of African soldiers he is brilliant flash of the different. The aforementioned metal elephant is a variation on the Brazen Bull torture device and I have no idea how it ended up in this film. It entrance is trumpeted but then it does not figure in the plot again. A Chekov’s Elephant Gun if you will (I Thank You).

The incongruity of Oldman and his background being better thought through than the rest of the plot makes me wonder if he was a holdover from an earlier, very different draft of the script. If it was originally written more as a straight out horror and the producers decided to make it appeal to the Twilight crowd? 

RED RIDING HOOD is an infuriating failure. You wonder if it could have been something better but commerce took it over. I do not think I can recommend this film but should a friend ever make you watch it I insist you cry “Why Grandma what rubbish taste in DVDs you have”

"What am I doing in this film?

WEREWOLF (TV PILOT) 1987

WEREWOLF (TV PILOT)

With vampires back in vogue werewolves have never had much representation beyond film. WEREWOLF was one of the few, an American TV series on the fittingly canid Fox Network in 1987-1988. I had heard of this series for a few years from scant mentions in TV Zone Magazine so it was an unexpected delight when my obsessive trawling of charity shops and market stalls turned up the pilot episode on battered VHS.

Eric Cord is a typically American 30 year old college student whose roommate Ted asks him to kill him after he becomes a werewolf. I doubt this was an intentional metaphor for house sharing but certainly puts the washing-up rota into perspective. After shooting Ted and becoming a werewolf he tries to cure himself by killing the originator of the curse which turned him, a one-eyed, horror cliche of a man called Janos Skorzeny.

Script wise this is actually pretty decent. It betrays its origins as a TV pilot script as it sets up the situation, characters, motive and format all in 80 minutes. It has a pacing to it most modern films can only dream of, with a brevity which reminds me of the very early Universal horror films. It is a cursed by his superpower man-on-the-run format similar to The Incredible Hulk. I suspect the rest of the series involved him drifting from town to town searching for Skorzeny while being chased by a bounty hunter he crosses paths with in the pilot. Unfortunately as he turns into a wolf it does make me think of it as a lychanthropic Littlest Hobo (There's a Moon, that keeps on calling me) which slightly robs it of dramatic tension.

The effects are better than some films but he design work is strange with the werewolves looking more like gorillas than either men or wolves. Skorzeny has a beautifully gross transformation when he literally pulls his skin off which is one of the few instances of that style I can think of. It looks like 90s TV series, all badly mastered film to video transfer and shonky graphics.

The greatest bit in this entire film is the music score. Clearly taking a nod from the Highlander TV series it is all heavy metal and rock noodling.  I have never heard a score entirely composed of a guitar solo but I reveled in how ridiculous it sounds in some places. Axe grinding may be suitable when he turns into werewolf but it is less so when man wanders about a boat marina for a bit.

A nice idea slightly hamstrung by its need to begin a series of episodic adventures. Hopefully we might see a new werewolf series on TV one of these days perhaps merging it with reality TV as The Werewolf Whisperer.